Mom's Having Chest Pains

These last few weeks have been exhausting to say the least. Even though Mom is in a nursing home now, Dad is constantly worrying about Mom and threatening to walk up to Kula Hospital. The daycare has been a lot of help to us as he is in there Monday-Saturday now. The weekends are especially hard since all he does is ask when we're going to see her.

Not only that, but Mom has been complaining about chest pains. No doubt she is experiencing some kind of heart failure. She's been telling us that she's "dying and her heart is turning all black." She says she's too old for surgery, so there's nothing they can do. Of course this really upsets Dad and he starts crying. I don't think she is trying to be mean or anything, she's just trying to let him know that she's not going to be around long. On Thursday it was Dad's birthday and we took Dad up to see Mom.

When I asked the nurse about that the next day, she said she didn't know if she is hallucinating (her vitals have been stable). But it could be her interpretation of what she feels is going on with her heart.  

Today we talked to the doctor and she said she is definitely experiencing some kind of chest pains. Her EKG is changed. They've bumped up her nitropatch, O2 and water pills. They are drawing blood every 8 hours to see if there is any damage to her heart muscle. They won't get the results until tomorrow. After she got her nitropatch, she felt better.

I see Light at the end of ths tunnel

Well, it seems like there are more and more days that have no entries. I know part of it is that we are seeing light at the end of the tunnel and possibly also that everything seems to have become one big blur.

Dad continues to ask about Mom. We try to redirect him but some days it's just not that easy. I am just waiting to see how long this adjustment will take. I've heard that it takes a good month for people with Alzheimer's to adjust to a new situation or environment.

All I know is that having Ma placed in a nursing home and having Dad in daycare has been like a breath of fresh air. I feel that we can breathe a bit more now. I am sure in time, this too shall pass. On the weekends we try to take Dad out for leisurely drives. I think it does him good. We take him out to lunch or just go for a cruise. The hard part is anticipating his next (same old) question, "When are we going to see Ma? It's been a couple of days since I've seen her!" In reality that couple of days is really 17 days since we first took her in to see the doctor.

All in all, it's been a rough road, but then again, I believe DH and I have grown a lot, learned a lot and got closer to each other. The hardest part is not getting in the way (line of fire) and becoming part of the problem and not the solution. It's been humbling to realize our own impatience, intolerance and shortcomings. Ahui ho. Till next time. 

Transition

Monday, the 30th. We had had a nice weekend and everything seemed to go fine. About 2:30 we got a phone call from the Daycare. They told me that Dad was rattling the fence, reciting his marriage vows and telling everyone that he was going to climb the fence and walk to the hospital to see his wife! After determining that he needed to get his meds adjusted, "K" picked him up and we scheduled an appointment with the doctor.

Today was also the day that Ma was being transferred to the nursing home. We didn't get home till way after 8 from the clinic, and soon Dad was fast asleep with his new meds.

Today (Tuesday), the nurse at the Daycare decided to track him minute by minute, to prevent a repeat of yesterday's episode. Today he did fine. I called several times during the day, ready to dash downtown with some extra medication, should he need it.

I had a meeting with someone from the local Alzheimer's Association. It was very informative, and realized we had a lot to learn of this awful disease. I found out a few things: Never say No. Don't argue. Redirect.

A bit later I decided to call the nursing home to check on Ma to make sure she was doing OK. The nurse on duty informed me that she was very "sweet, very nice, and that she was watching TV in the Activity Room." Everyone seemed to be settling in to their new routines. No sooner had I thought that, when I received a phone call from a nurse at the nursing home. She told me that Ma requested to speak with "K." So I called him and gave him the number.

Later on he explained to me that they were trying to get a reaction out of her to see how she would respond by talking to one of the family members. The minute she got him on the phone, she began to whine for Dad and that she wanted to see him, etc. etc. Finally the nurse got back on the phone and explained this to K. She was "under no circumstances" see OR talk to Dad on the phone until they deemed she was ready. This may just be the hardest transition for both of them. But, I am confident, that after a few weeks or so, things will settle down. Let's hope so.